Awhile ago, I met the write Molly Peacock and began, by chance, to talk to her about a piece I was trying to work out about being childless and how hard it was to a) reconcile that fact, in a world where motherhood is revered, and b) how silent the process is because there’s so little written on it, and it’s rarely discussed. What I didn’t know was that she had written an entire book on her choice to be child-free and how it had defined her life.
I devoured Paradise Piece by Piece and, though my childlessness has happened more from circumstance than choice – it would never be my choice – I still related to a great deal of what she wrote. That’s because to be a “non-mom” is still fairly undefined and misunderstood.
Here are two essays I wrote on the topic for TVO The Agenda. They both struck quite a nerve and I heard from many childless women, and men, who felt relieved that someone was speaking up. I also heard from family members, who told me that they had no idea I had been feeling so distressed about not being a mother. But, all they really ever had to do was ask me.
So I have to wonder, why is the subject of childlessness so taboo?
The Murky Truth About Fertility, TVO The Agenda Insight
The Invisibility of Non-Moms, TVO The Agenda Insight