Us “never-marrieds” are often at risk of being thought of as uncompromising or “picky,” but a recent Atlantic article explores one person’s thoughts on how she has finally (at 39) come to the conclusion that through not choosing to marry any of her boyfriends, she has actually chosen to be single. The article touches on how the recent recession has furthered the changing dynamic between the sexes and explores what life might be like in an all-female community.
But…
In her subsequent interviews on the article, she has tended to back off a bit from her stance and has admitted to ambivalence about being childless. Of course. There is always a shadow of protesting too much cast upon these types of public statements – lest a “modern spinster”/independent woman looks like she is actually choosing to be alone and lonely.
Loneliness is a byproduct of, well… life… but also single-dom, so I don’t know why there’s so much tabu around talking about it / admitting to it.
While I applaud people putting these topics up for discussion so we can, hopefully, get to a new understanding that (as I’ve said for years) there is not only one way to live, I do think that the author of this article might think a bit differently about her independent, childless life in years to come.
As well, I wish that the infertility industry would stop promising miracles. They are few and far between. Biology, after all, is biology and doesn’t change. Unless you have a good deal of money to burn, a fantastic physical and emotional constitution, and a direct link to the heaven’s above, no amount of technology can help a woman over 40 or esp. 45. That’s a fact.
I’d be interested in your thoughts on the article.
Very happy I found this article by Kate Bolick on your blog. I’m only 22(!) and very often feel like an alien to my coupled friends that can’t fathom being single. They silently pity my single status, although I can’t say that I don’t sometimes pity their coupledom.
Within 5 minutes of meeting another twentysomething female friend, the boyfriend question is always asked and unfortunately begins to establish the type of person they are, why they’re single, and if they’re in a relationship, what’s wrong with their relationship.